| Author | Message |
|---|---|
Romaq |
Date sent: 2015/07/26 16:29:18
My father isn't doing so good, and he lives in Indianapolis, IN while I live near Seattle. I may be flying out there, not sure. So I don't know how things will be going, but if I vanish for a while... "family emergency". |
Wowman2002 |
Date sent: 2015/07/26 16:36:59
I'm sorry to hear that Romaq, I hope he gets well soon. My thoughts are with you. |
MONKEYPAWNED |
Date sent: 2015/07/26 17:21:52
I wish you and your father nothing but the best ...... God speed..and safe return. |
Romaq |
Date sent: 2015/07/30 03:25:22
Thank you all. My father died Monday of COPD, same as what killed Leonard Nimoy. At the end, he was breathing very fast and very heavily as if he were hyper-ventilating, and having to do so all the time, or suffocate and die. He was fully aware of his dying. He was estranged from me from the year 1999 to 2012 "for reasons". He was estranged from my other brother for years "for reasons", and my dad did not get to see his grandchildren. But we came this week to say our goodbyes, to support one another, and to catch up and make amends on some things where we could.As I age, I find some things that were not important at all to me (so that old woman is Dad's grandma? Uhm... ok! Can I go play now?) matter to me more than I can express (So THAT woman now deceased was the mother of my Dad's mom, and Dad's mother died when he was very young, and I never got to really know her when I had the chance to do so!). Some other things that really mattered to me then (I'm tired of being insulted, made to feel stupid and feeling abused. SCREW this and SCREW YOU!) really don't matter much looking at the bigger picture after so many years (I love you, Dad. I'm here. It's ok. It's all ok. Just know I'm here, and I love you very much.) It's ok. You feel what you feel, you have reasons, you do what you do. And sometimes, over the years, things change. Sometimes people change. Sometimes, frustratingly, painfully, they don't. Sometimes it matters, and will always matter (You did this to mom & dad, you did this to your children, and after all these things you continue to behave this way. Rot in jail. I have no pity for you). And sometimes, it matters in a different way (I'm so sorry. I did not know, I had no way to know. But I know now, and I love you and always loved you. And now we can share this burden together moving forward since Dad is no longer here to do the things we never knew about that kept our brother going. Bless you, be your best. Change for the better the things you can. Choose your battles wisely. Admit when you were wrong, and STOP DOING THAT! Recognize when you are doing right, and KEEP DOING THAT! See that you are a "work in progress", and progress. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Recognize your just reasons and stand by your values. Recognize your excuses, and stop making them. Your grammar, your effort at correct spelling (with a browser that will do that FOR you as you type) and avoiding use of vulgar language is as much a message about your character and maturity as what you think you have to say. Choose accordingly. Be well, and if you can hug a parent, a significant other, a child, a pet, if you can find a way to express your love to someone, please choose to do so. The world needs more love. And there is always time to express love where it matters and could really be received. Thank you. |
Vulturboy |
Date sent: 2015/07/30 03:45:24
I'm sorry for your loss Romaq. I also know what it's like to lose a loved one. You are right, the world does need more love. It's nice to see someone who truly understands that. |
thomasjones |
Date sent: 2015/07/30 04:13:21
I'm also sorry for your loss.I hope that writing this has helped you through this difficult time and my thoughts go to you and your family -Tom |
Wowman2002 |
Date sent: 2015/07/30 15:30:11
My sincere condolences for your loss, I cannot even begin to imagine what you're going through, I am truly sorry for your loss & my thoughts are with you & your family.Rest in peace. |
Romaq |
Date sent: 2015/07/31 03:01:00
Writing my thoughts out did help, thank you. We fly home Sunday. The time has been well spent with family, and we have had much to discuss we wouldn't have taken time to talk about before.Be well. |
